Blà Bheinn was weird. Brilliant, mostly. And I've realised I'll never get over myself when it comes to Chris(t) and I should stop trying and just embrace Being An Awkward Teenager again. But it was weird. I think I'm talking to Kirley again? I'm not sure. It's weird. And I finished my book. That's weird, too. I've been poking at it on and off for over a year, I kind of don't know what to do with myself now. It just seemed like a good time and place to finish it, the festival. Like it's THE END of that and a new beginning, kind of. I skived off halfway through all the partying about four Thursday morning and flew right up to the top of Blà Bheinn itself and, I don't know, it just worked, I finally got the bastard finished. But then Kirley apparated up a bit later (scared the fuck out of me, I nearly went over the edge, which isn't a problem really since I CAN SPROUT WINGS but he still gave me a fucker of a fright) and there weren't any apologies or anything but it's okay now. Sort of. It's not, really, but I'm so tired of hating him. He's a stupid thoughtless arse sometimes but he's still my brother. Everything shit he's ever done to me, I've got two good memories. That's not a bad ratio, is it? I'm never going to forgive and forget (I'm a champion grudgeholder!) but I'm trying to kind of lock it in a little box and hide it away because arse or not, I missed the stupid bastard. And the band's splitting up. Don't really know what to think about that. I suppose it's been brewing for years now, but they've ALWAYS been around, they've been there my whole life, even when I hated them they were still there. It's weird. He says they want me to come back and do one last concert, like a proper send-off. I said I'd think about it, but I haven't much. Doesn't really feel real. It will. Just doesn't yet. Anyway, I'm busy. I've got my own tour starting, I've got my album out tomorrow, interviews and signings and stuff (signing at Caley's tomorrow evening: DO NOT FORGET, ADE, DO NOT FORGET), and Avalon, and sorting out the book, and I'm co-writing and co-producing Thais's new stuff after Christmas, and looking after Dory, and fretting over Aidan like a big fussy woman, and Meg's three days away from DROPPING MY NEPHEW AHAHAHA OH SHIT OH WOW, and and and. Busy. I will think about it, though. Well. Don't need to, really, I think I'm decided, but I still want to think for a while. It wouldn't be fair to just kind of leave it hanging like this. People have stuck with the band for TWO DECADES. They deserve better than it all just fizzling out. Kind of makes half the ranty bitchy angry album a bit redundant, which is annoying. Still. At least it'll make family-parties less awkward.