AN POOD THE GOWANS FIN!
BIT WEEV WANDERT MONAE A WEERY FET
SIN AULD LANG SYYYYYYYYYYYYYNE!
Y'RE IN M'HOUSE AN' Y'DON'T KNOW ANY WORDS PAST VERSE ONE? SHAME.
*ambushing anybody polite enough not to tell him to fuck off*
's... 's NEXT YEAR now! 's a DIFFERENT YEAR! So cool, 's like bein' in th'FUTURE! Where's m'hat? M'hat's done a runner, fuckin' hell, who's nicked m'HAT? OH, 's there, 's okay, 's keepin' watch on m'beer...
*knocks a half-empty beer bottle flying when he grabs at his horrible joke hat with mistletoe dangling off the top on a piece of wire*
Who's... who's... fuck ME, everybody's fuckin' taken, y're all bastards, how come y're all married?
*falls onto his Spongebob chair with a new bottle of beer and squints at the clock, intending to time how long it takes for somebody to give him a pity-snog*
*DRUNKER THAN HE'S BEEN IN A LONG TIME*